Wednesday, 2 June 2010

UIGEA: Shock As World Still Spinning On June 2nd

We are happy to be writing today, dearest members of the Melted Felt karass. After a night of sleep filled with vivid deposit-options centred nightmares, call-from-the-bank based trepidation and credit-card-rejected-type fear that the UIGEA would finally be implemented. As the gentle patter of rain on the window and familiar green of our garden trees greeted us this morning it was with a huge relief that we noted the world was still spinning at a slightly tilted angle and flying - rather fast - around the sun.

Predictions of doom all over the interweb proved to be ill-founded today. With visions of horror ranging from 'the games getting just a little bit tougher' through 'end of online poker as we know it' through to 'every drop of water on the planet turning to ice-9, therefore wiping out all life forms' turning out to be, well, untrue. Relief was tangible, with players who never had a hope of withdrawing from a poker site due to their terrible play now contentedly lighting up blunts safe in the knowledge that options are still available for them should a miracle happen.

We spoke to Len, a stuppa from Texas, whose UIGEA implementation contingency plans were still ready to run at a moments notice. "It is not clear yet," growled an angry Len, nervously fingering a sawn off shotgun. "If the zombies come we have to make it to the mall, and fvcking fast man, fast!" he continued, "I have added blades to the wheels of my pickup, and idenfitied the Starbacks on the 5th floor as the easiest point to defend from dead members of the public intent on eating brains". On further questioning it turned out Len did not actually play online poker, and that the legislation coming into effect was actually the 70th sure-fire reason this year for the zombie apocalypse to begin. Apparently 2012 was looking like a sure-thing.

Still, his views seemed quite mild when compared to many posters on well known poker forums UIGEA fears...

Busy Busy Busy,

MF

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