Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Finland's Rush Poker Habit - A Melted Felt Investigation

Just when you thought Rush week was a thing of the past not to be repeated for, well, at least another week - we bring you a cutting edge MF investigation!

Yes, dear MF readers, it is well known that every other player on the Rush Poker tables is from Finland, what you probably did not know is that they are actually all members of the same Death Metal band...

We tracked down Juppa Hämäläineniihaa, self prolaimed spokesman and double bass-peddle drumming specialist with jet back hair, slightly scary piercing blue eyes and bits of metal inserted where you would not expect pieces of metal to be.

To start with we asked what the attraction of Rush Poker was to Fins in particular?

"Well" began Juppa, "Living in Helsinki we have the daily excitement of being hunted by angry polar bears, raging gun battles and maintaining world leadership in mobile phone handset technology, after which normal poker seems a little on the slow side" continuing, "And of couse, it gives us the opportunity to re-raise a lot, and the only thing we love more than re-raising is re-re-raising"

We then enquired about the rumor that every single Fin on Full Tilt was actually a member of the Death Metal band "Burnt Eye Massacre".

"Yes, this is correct" said Juppa between chugs of Koskenkorva vodka, which every Finnish home has available directly from the taps, "we have 71 drummers, 32 bass guitarists, 148 guitarists and 29 on vocals - surprisingly the sound is very similar to just one of each, though we do hit stage-size issues in smaller to mid-sized venues".

Our next question was that of collusion, with so many people knowing each other...

"Impossible, just because every player has a pre flop raise when folded to percentage of 100%, a continuation bet percentage of 100% and a 3 bet pecentage of 89% is merely a coincidence, part of the Finnish humor, and partially because is is minus 26C outside in the summer with only 2 minutes of daylight a day"

Unconvinced we asked why there were so many Fins online at the Rush tables compared with other nations, and what preventative measures they had in place to prevent suspicions?

At this point Juppa darkly informed us that Finland had more guns per head of population than the USA and asked if we would like to see his large collection of semi-automatic weapons... we elected to watch the nations favorite DVD instead and settled down to a hour and a half of 'Happy Feet', enough to convince us that all is good and fair in the world of Rush... maybe.

MF

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