Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Dwindling Fish Stocks To See EU Regulate Poker Market

Shocking news today, dear Melted Felt readers, as those Bureaucrats in the European Union move on from their straight bananas, pesky metric measurements and joint ventures on really f-in fast fighter aircraft with those cool heat seeking missiles that can go around corners, ahem, and *now* regulate the poker market on the grounds that the majority of participants were, well, fish.

After receiving several complaints of over-fishing from disgruntled grinders, a committee made up of extremely important non-elected unaccountable anonymous individuals decided that the poker fisheries should be protected by strict quotas to prevent over-fishing leading to a reduction in hourly rates for all tax-dodging concerned.

In an all-night debating session a consensus was reached only after specific wording and opt-outs for various countries. Norway were adamant that they would continue to hunt the whales, France that French fisheries sould be protected from all other nations, coralled into a barrel by the French taxman - and then shot at every single hand - oh and Spain that they would continue to fish, but only in glass- bottomed boats - in order to get a better view of their countries rich maritime history.

In a carefully worded statement the European Commission indicated that they hoped that, while there were 227 clauses, 854 sub-clauses 19 partial opt-outs and 8 regional variations - at least the new fisheries regulations were not as complicated as OnGame's Essence...


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