Thursday, 2 September 2010

Dorothy Pemberton, 87, Accidentally Buys The Cereus Poker Network

In a poker news post which only shows a profit because it hides bad loan provisions off balance-sheet, we can today bring you an exclusive interview with the new owner of the Cereus Poker Network - Mrs Dorothy Pemberton (known as 'Dot' to her friends) - who accidentally bought the entire network in a moment of confusion while popping out to the shops for some prunes.

It was an easy mistake to make for Dot, who bakes cakes for charity events which can only be described as unguessably heavy. One minute she was getting in peoples way in aisle 2 of the local supermarket when a special 2 for 1 on incontinence pads caught her eye. While trying to get the attention of a lovely young man walking past to ask for the price, Dot accidentally knocked the Cereus Poker Network into her basket... confusion over that new-fangled decimal money kept her distracted at the checkout, so it was not until She got home and started unpacking her tartan wheeley trolley that the poker network purchase error was realized.

"Well deary, I did not know what to make of it at first," said Dot over a nice cup of overly milky Earl Grey tea, "I mean, what do I want with the 6th largest online poker site - when traffic is aggregated of course..." continuing, "that nice Phil Hellmuth contracted to me, can you imagine it" Dot chuckled before, "well, I did consider applying for a French license of course dears, but those Frenchies just can not be trusted you know, only the other day my friend Phylis lost her walking frame you know, and she has some Polish living two doors down".

Finally able to get a word in edgeways, We enquired as to the outcome of Dot's deliberations.

"Biscuit dear? Oh yes, well, of course I already sold it on deary - last week in fact, to that nice Mr Hamilton down at the Bingo club, ever so nice he is, a real charmer... in fact he said it was for his wife, Bianca or something she is called? Or was it Blanca? lemon slice anyone?"


1 comment:

Memphis MOJO said...

hile popping out to the shops for some prunes.


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