Sunday, 31 October 2010

5 Scariest Poker Celebs

Well, its Halloween, a meaningless historical artifact loved by candy manufacturers and Chinese factories which specialize in the mass-production of plastic sh1t. What better then, dear Melted Felt readers, than to jump on the bandwagon of journalistic clich├ęs and come up with something, well, a bit scary?

Here we go then, the Melted Felt 5 scariest poker celebs

#1 – Phil Hellmuth, Terrifying innocent bystanders with his flappy jowel this all hallows eve, Big Phil costumes are a sure-fire winner for a bumper candy collection. Just the merest hint of a perceived threat of possibly unleashing the awesome dark powers of the Hellmuth ego are enough to leave the living trembling in their carpet-slippers.

#2 – Gus Hansen, Already regularly mistaken for Skeletor from 80’s cartoon favorite ‘Masters of the Universe’, Hansen’s ability to haunt is actually supplied from special evil rays which he collects through his ears. The only way to stop this threat to sensible global pre-flop hand selection would be stop the rays themselves - by breaking into the Carlsberg brewery, Denmark’s most heavily fortified installation.

#3 – Luke Schwartz. Lock up your daughters and, erm, cheese sandwiches this Halloween, dear Melted Felt readers – as Fullflush1 may just be unleashed. Such evil lurks that merely denying this Englishman some seasonal candy could result in the disaster of having a tag spray-painted on your wall.

#4 – Tony G. To some, Tony is a talkative super-hero who does his best to regularly save the world from the evil twins of Peace and Quiet using a stream of largely nonsensical banter… Don’t be fooled, dear Melted Felt readers, behind the mask of joviality lurks a sharp mind with many business interests. While using his entertaining blog as a front, the evil genius of the Tony is looking to take over the poker world, using M&A activities, maybe.

#5 – Dan Harrington. While we are unable to confirm rumors that recent hall of fame entrant Harrington has been dead for almost a decade. We can certainly certify that one look at Dan’s super-pale complexion is enough to leave real ghosts cowering behind Phil Ivey for protection. Our advisory for readers is not to approach Harrington at any point this Halloween before reading ‘Harrington on Trick or Treating, volume 3’ cover to cover.

Just remembered a post from a couple of years ago about a guy who dropped out of college to become a trick or treating pro… you can read it Right Here


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