Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Moneybookers Rebrand As Krill?

In a news item more explosive than a North Korean mortar, we can reveal that Moneybookers, the really quite good poker deposit option available outside of the US have not actually announced they are to rebrand as ‘Krill’.

Krill, the small shrimp-like crustaceans, are not an obvious name for a eWallet – so we sent the Melted Felt mole to find out more… It turned out that when an analysis was done comparing the amount of money deposited into online poker sites with the amount withdrawn, the staff at MB began to think that Fish – the traditional name for a sh1t poker player – really were actually their core market. The problem was that, well, when you looked at the numbers, ‘Fish’ was actually a little on the kind side…

Going a little further down the food chain, they discovered that there were no fun-sounding synonyms for Plankton. With Krill sitting nicely between the two, and not wishing to offend too many of the aquatic variety of fish by associating them with such terrible poker players – MB settled on Krill for their new name.

Of course, here at Melted Felt we like to go one step further – and so have come up with some great rebranding suggestions for other electronic wallet systems;

Paypal could now become ‘Dr Daniel Obaseki, Senior Official, Ministry Of Finance, Nigeria’ while we do acknowledge that is a little on the long side… it does fit nicely with the apparent ease of making all those fvcking payment reversals… alegedly!

Neteller, could now become ‘DogsA$$hole’, we thought that one fits as the tail-up scampering away view of a canine is actually the most common perspective… and one that fits nicely with the view that US users had when their poker bankrolls were frozen and Neteller went trotting off across the Atlantic…

eWalletXpress… Until recently a great choice for poker depositors… well, there is only one suggestion here right? They should change their name to FedWalletXpress (how about FedEx for short?) as quickly as possible


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