Tuesday, 14 December 2010

15 Months Of No Online Poker? Melted Felt Looks At The Options

Here at Melted Felt, the public-service spirit is seasonally strong. Instead of just rewriting the same old news all the other supposed poker news sites do, we like to think we can help you, the reader.

Today we pat those dear readers who dropped out of college firmly on the back, move our head sideways at the same time as making a sympathetic tutting sound and say, ‘hey, it could be worse sunshine, you could have already moved out of your Moms house and have real bills to pay’.

No More Online Poker: A Quick Look At The Alternatives:

1) Live Poker: A great choice for those with bankrolls who are willing to endure the variance caused by the reluctance of opponents to fold, ever. One word of warning for online pros making the switch, if you threaten to kill people for making bad plays, or hang around insulting peoples mothers after they bust you from a tournament, you are likely to get beaten, and fast – and the rest of the table will hope it really really hurts.

2) Go Back To College: Hey, some of you will still be young enough to fit right back in, you remember the sports, the drinking, the girls… right? Awww, you forgot huh? Ah, it was so important to you that your red line was 0.054118% below fair that you forgot that real people get drunk, fvck and have fun while you are defending your 6-betting light strategy on 2+2 against all who dare question it for 3 days and nights solid… Yep, going back to college might do you some good.

3) A j.o.b: I know, you are not really qualified to do much, and on top of that the present economy means that even burger flippers need to have some prior experience to land those precious min-wage jobs. We suggest starting small and working up, maybe you could flyer your neighborhood to see if anyone wants an occasional dog walker – or offer to clear snow in return for a letter of recommendation and a warm mug of coco. Since you were so adamant that you would never spend your life in an office cubicle, cleaning the toilets of those who do so might seem a little bit of a come-down… but hey, its only for 15 months right? You wait, they’ll soon be begging you to teach them how to extract thin value from polarized river ranges, honest they will.

Look out for more public service posts from Melted Felt real soon!

MF

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