Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Wikileaks Set To SHOCK Poker World

Until now, dear Melted Felt readers, the communications published by the Wikileaks website have been pretty mundane. Dull subjects such as insulting world leaders, suggesting dropping a bomb or two and calling out fat junior members of the British Royals for having a well earned rant have all made the headlines.

Well, here at the coal-face of the cutting edge of the nerve-centre of, erm, poker news, we can bring you the exclusive story that the next round of leaked documents contains some shocking evidence that the poker world is not the big cuddly friendly family you might think! Yes, straight from the voices in our heads, here are some completely fabricated lies REVEALING the leaked info.

- An intercepted e-mail sent by Howard Lederer (sent between counting his huge piles of money) to the pentagon urging a pre-emptive nuclear strike on the Isle of Man. We believe that the term used was, ‘cutting the head off of those stupid cats with no tails’.
- An emergency plan to prevent the proliferation of Rush Poker technology, including detailed contingencies for what to do if these dangerous software sub-routines were to fall into the hands of terrorists.
- A recording of the meeting between the feds and a certain Indian gentleman, formerly involved in the industry as owner of a once great poker site. In which the government officials could be seen rolling on the floor laughing once the meeting ended after securing a payout of several hundred million… includes a preview trailer in which they state their hope of breaching the $3 million mark.
- Sensitive mails sent from Congress to the Fed, in which the subject of QE using only T$ was discussed.
- Detailed correspondence between President Obama and Hillary Clinton debating which Full Tilt avatar was the luckiest, in which Clinton continually questions Barak’s theory that having the woman with big eyes and big tits on screen and playing under the name ‘trixibell1234’ has an ev advantage.
- An idea put forward by the Pentagon that members of 2+2 who suggest moving up levels to where people respect their raises should be immediately tracked down and conscripted into military service in Afganistan.

Well, if the world as we know it is the same as the world as we know it – I’d like to offer a very warm welcome various nations web-monitoring security teams to Melted Felt, the other side of poker news.


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