Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Monkeys, Bananas And Poker Site Scandals

Here is a thought, dear Melted Felt readers. It is the kind of thought that puts a couple of other thoughts together… unfortunately it concerns UB.com, which always gets some hate mail. If hate mailers could please clearly label their mails 'hate' that would be great, they are quicker to delete that way...

So, here is something I estimated from a Party Poker corporate statement, my own experiences and observations of forums / leaderboards etc: The half-life of an online poker player is approximately 6 months.

This is to say, that after 6 months, 50% of those who started playing will have stopped (not ruling out that they might come back at some point, so ‘mostly stopped’ is near enough). After another 6 months we are down to 25% of those original starters… 18 months 12.5%, 24 months 6.75% and so on… this is <2% for 3 years – this seems logical enough, these are the grinders.

** Right, Time to jump to another subject **

MONKEYS!

Yeah, monkeys are cool.

Anyway, there was a famous Monkey experiment by one Adam Chan in which some yummy bananas were placed on top of a pole…. And every time a monkey tried to climb the pole to get them, it was hosed down with icy cold water and thwarted in its attempt. After a while the monkeys gave up (unlike most poker players, though that is another story).

Now they added a brand spanking new monkey to the group, who tried to climb the pole to get a 'nana (it had no experience of the cold water). The other monkeys pulled it away from the pole… nice bunch eh? Looking after a newcomer like that...

Anyway, the twist is this… eventually all of the monkeys were replaced one-by-one. We reached the point where no monkeys had any experience of the icy water… yet the group still did not attempt to climb the pole, and still stopped any newcomer (physically) from doing so.

Neat experiment huh… I’m pretty sure they would have rubbed shampoo in their eyes afterwards – I mean, whats the point of experimenting with animals if you are not going to be unnecessarily cruel.

Can we get to the point now Mark? Oh yeah, of course...

My point is this: How many UB.com ‘haters’ were actually around in 2008 when the storm broke… and how many are the monkeys who have seen the scorn of their peers since they started playing and type their forum hate without fully understanding why?? Just a thought.

I’ll go get my tin-foil hat.

MF

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