Thursday, 24 February 2011

Will Dancing With The Stars Bosses Rue Their Poker Casting Decision?

With the shocking news that the somewhat mouthy poker celebrity that players love to hate – Phil Hellmuth – may be scheduled to appear on Dancing With the Stars, Melted Felt can not help feeling that the network TV bosses in question have missed an opportunity.

The shallow and pointless lives of many online poker players could – and in our opinion should – have been enriched by the song and dance spectacular. It could have lead to waltzing during synchronized breaks, bluffing to that sexy salsa beat and doing the twist and shout instead of just the shout when hoping to nail that ace on the river.

Imagine how different things could have been if Tom Dwan, Viktor Blom or Patrik Antonius had been cast instead. Imagine the extra advertising revenue as under the table rakeback providers flocked to the advert breaks, bidding up the prices for the usual colostomy bag and funeral home ads. Imagine that, just for a moment those pale and spotty litte creeps who 16 table 12 hours a day craned their necks around the door of their ‘balla stations’ to partake in the family sport of critiquing people a quarter of their weight moving twice as fast as they are potentially able.

Now, if it were me I’d have gone one step farther. How about pairing the poker names up? I mean, who could resist the thought of a sensual tango between Daniel Negreanu and Annie Duke? Who better to show us a perfectly buffed pair of patent leather shoes than Gus Hansen, twirling a scowling Jennifer Harman in a rock n roll spectacular? The scintillating sight of Annette Obrestadt sweating and panting her way though a foxtrot with Tony G… or, erm, maybe don’t.

MF

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