Friday, 29 April 2011

Recruitment Drive At The Poker Players Alliance?

It often takes a crisis to galvanize support, garner the troops and make real change happen, dear Melted Felt readers. Though in the case of poker it can take a crisis to make people realize that the organization they have been happily funding to represent their rights for years has achieved nothing what so ever.

Not surprising then that the Poker Players Alliance are having an imaginary recruitment drive for a whole new level of (hopefully more effective) management within their ranks. If you are qualified for any of the roles below then send your resume Senator Jon Kyle today!

Role #1: Head Of Shutting Stable Doors

- Track record of shutting stable doors before the horse has bolted required for this role.
- Any additional golf caddy experience would be appreciated by the *very busy* directors.

Position #2: Head of Banging Heads Against Brick Walls

- Demonstrable experience in encouraging peers to bang their heads repeatedly against a brick wall.
- Cheerful and sunny disposition needed, combined with the ability to say “well, it feels ever-so nice when you stop” without any trace of sarcasm.

Position #3: Manager, Looking Busy Department

- Primary role is producing press releases outlining the work of other organizations, while making it seem as if the PPA might actually have been involved.
- Must be proficient in explaining how huge amounts of donated cash were spent, without raising any suspicions from the community

Position #4: Junior Finger Pointer

- Entry-level position in the busy finger-pointing department, where the successful candidate will be taught how to plausibly blame everyone else for the utter failure of the alliance.
- No formal qualifications required, however a track record of snitching and / or crying wolf an advantage.

Position #5: Yet Another Fundraiser

- With things getting tight, we have a position open for an additional fundraiser able to bleat like a lost fvucking lamb about how piles and piles more money is required to keep us running.
- Ability to keep tight lipped about golf fees, expensive lunches and *chough* travel expenditure considered mandatory for this role.


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