Thursday, 12 May 2011

Frenchified Version Of The WSOPE Schedule Released

This year, dear Melted Felt readers, the powers that be at the World Series of Poker Europe have swapped the hustle and bustle of London for the glamour of the French Riviera. With the WSOPE events held in the exclusive Le Croisette Barrierre Casino (which translates as 'hmmm that is simply a delicious 3-day old cabbage') in the stylish city of Cannes.

Of course, not having had a real victory over the British since, ohhhhh – the year 1066, the nation of Garlic Muching Surrender Monkeys were more than happy to wrestle this exclusive tournament away. In fact the Deoderant-Dodging Onion Crunchers were so thrilled, they renamed each of the tournaments to celebrate, so here it is, the French version of the World Series Of Poker Europe schedule:

Friday October 7th 2011 – Event #1 – The You Fvucking British, Pah, You Have No Fvucking Style, Six Handed No-Limit Holdem, 3 day event, €2680

Saturday October 8th 2011 – Event #2 – Leave Now, Or I Will Taunt You For A Second Time, No-Limit Holdem, 5 day event, €1090

Monday October 10th 2011 – Event #3 – British Royal Family Paris Underpass Special Event, Pot-Limit Omaha, €5300

Tuesday October 11th 2011 – Event #4 - ** Name Change ** This event was originally called the ‘Shootout’, however after the entire French field kept running away and hiding every time this was announced we decided to change the name to ‘Pain-Free Elimination Of Fellow Players While Respecting Their Dignity”, 3-day event - €3200

Wednesday October 12th 2011 – Event #5 – Lets Go On Fvcking Strike (again) Mixed Holdem Event, Mixing 9-handed, 6-handed, heads-up, and, erm, going on strike. 4-day event (depends on length of strikes) - €10,400

Thursday October 13th 2011 – Event #6 – Celebration That Charles DeGaul single handedly liberated France at the end of WW2, while the US and UK had no involvement what so-ever, 6-handed Pot-Limit Omaha – 3 day event, €1620

Saturday October 15th – Main Event – The Blockade Ze Ports, Blockade Ze Tunnels, Blockade Ze Roads and then Burn Ze Fvcuking Sheep, No Limit Holdem, 5 day event €10400

Mange Tout, Mange Tout

MF

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