Friday, 6 May 2011

Specter Of Meaningless Life Haunts UB Haters

Logic would suggest, dear Melted Felt readers, that every silver lining has a cloud. In the case of what appears to be the imminent demise of the poker network people love to hate – Cereus – there is a definite risk of a hollow and empty existence for those keyboard warriors who have dedicated their entire lives to the active hatred of UB and AP.

Every generation has its issues, and even at the impressive rate of war-mongering the US manages these days, the passions invoked by Vietnam are merely historical artifacts. Instead, pale and pasty sexless bedroom grinders sat for years acting tough as nails in the basement of Mom’s houses all over the world. Trawling through forums, searching through blogs and scrutinizing magazines…

When they found a positive mention of Ultimate Bet, a vaguely worded question about depositing at Absolute Poker, or a na├»ve celebration of a poker pro associated with one of those sites it was time to PARTYYYYY. The adrenaline rush was intense, fingers shook with the sheer emotion of replying, blood pressure rose sharply while the message was relayed… any argument was slain, highly paid lawyers would not even attempt to undermine arguments so powerful, the bedroom warriors were ready for any attempt to counter them, the UB fans were to be corrected, re-educated and reformed… no positive commentary would be allowed to get through.

Months turned into years, and the keyboard warriors were undeterred, with less than 10% of the current poker playing population actually playing the game back in ’08, a process of education was required. Like monkeys who did not know why they never climbed the pole new warriors were borne, they had a meaning to their lives beyond mouse clicking, they felt part of a family, they felt cool.

With the holding company of these sites now talking about bankruptcy, reality is starting to hit home.

The outlet for all the hate, all the anxiety could be gone – just like that.

No college degree, no online poker to play, no cause to enjoy… clouded for now by the last hurrah, the big high point before the end of the party, one last triumph before the reality returns.

The keyboard warriors get to say, “I told you so”.

MF

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