Sunday, 19 June 2011

PokerTracker 4 To Make Online Poker Even More Dull

Software tools have long been available for online poker players, dear Melted Felt readers – and with the beta release of the newest version of PokerTracker, the incredible feat of making poker even more dull and mechanical than ever has been achieved.

Key to this software is a ‘heads-up display’ which gives a statistical summary of each opponent, behind the basic stats is a whole long list of interesting snippets showing you exactly how to react to their plays in certain situations. Imagine, you’ll never actually need to think about what is the best play in terms of a poker hand again. Instead, you look at stats, compare it to the flop and then make the best play.

This fantastic software will not only take all of the fun away from poker, turning players into reasonably rich data-entry clerks, it will ensure that new players lose their bankrolls so fvcking fast that they probably will not bother coming back. Leaving the users of poker tracker 4 to win their money from other users of Pokertracker 4 who are not using the advanced features in quite such an advanced way as they do.

Inside this new software is a leakfinder, which will show you hands and situations where you are failing to use the statistics correctly to choose the dullest yet most profitable plays. It will intelligently find unclear (otherwise known as ‘interesting’) poker situations and show you how to make them utterly, mind-numbingly dull again – increasing your expectation by a few hundredths of a percentage point.

Not only that, Poker Tracker will make pretty graphs which you can post on forums, so that other data-entry clerks, erm, I mean poker players, can see what an excellent job you do of clicking whichever buttons the software recommends. These same graphs will also prove – statistically – those times when you were good, but just unlucky, by giving you an ‘ev’ line to go with your profit / loss per 100 and your 'I’m so proud of only paying 70% rake over 16 tables' line.

Of course, this is really just the latest round in the ongoing ‘arms race’ between the best poker tools PokerTracker and Holdem Manager to see who can make poker the dullest. It seems that PT4 have leapt ahead this time, however we are sure that the sharp minds behind HEM will be coming up with fantastically creative ways in which to squeeze a few more percentage points of what fun remains in the online game.

We look forward to announcing the day when the very last drop of fun is squeezed out of the game.


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