Friday, 22 July 2011

WSOP November 9 Lineup

Its that time of the year, dear Melted Felt readers, where we look at the final table line up for the World Series Main Event and say “who?”. Even as I type, histories are being researched, online stats perused and pocket 5’s are claiming 12 different November 9ers are their own… even though they never actually made a post there.

Without further waffle, here are the 2011 November 9…

1 – Martin Staszko, 40 Million Chips

With the chip lead at the final table, Martin Staszko is sure to put the Czech Republic on the map. For US readers, you will find the Czech republic in Europe, which is that big bit of land you get to if you trace your finger from the USA over the light blue bit of the map from left to right (if you get to a big country named Africa move up).

2 – Eoghan O’Dea, 34 Million Chips

Son of former champ Donnacha O’Dea, Eoghan (pronounced Eoghan) will be flying the flag for Ireland and looking to make a little more father-son type history than the Brusons or Greensteins have managed. Due to the fact that all the money in Ireland is now borrowed, Eoghan’s winnings are to be sent directly to Angela Merkel.

3 – Matt Giannetti, 24 Million Chips

The first American on the list comes in the form of Matt Guanetti, a resident of Las Vegas, NV. With a few live and online cashes, ordinary appearance and young age, journalists across the industry are really hoping that this bland individual has an axe-murderer in the family.

4 – Phil Collins, 21 Million Chips

No no, not Phil Collins the poker player… this is Phil the drummer from Genesis and solo artist with a big string of 80’s hits including some really truly fvcking awful numbers. Rumor has it that Phil, who is now knocking on a bit, will wear a specially designed latex mask – which will disguise him as online poker player Phil “USCphildo” Collins. DNA testing may be required.

5 – Ben Lamb, 20 Million Chips

Life was quite serene before the 2011 World Series, when not many people outside the creepy fans of high stakes PLO games had ever heard of Ban Lamb. Not only have we now heard of him, in one fell swoop we can all feel slightly inadequate in comparison. Thanks Ben, I was quite enjoying my summer until you came along with all your damn money and skills.

6 – Badih Bounahhra, 20 Million Chips

From Belize in Central America, Badhi gets the Melted Felt vote by a looooong way. Who cares that his previous total career winnings are only 50k – we just love the idea of someone called Badhi winning the bracelet. For US readers, Central America is the bit on a map under Mexico – and not, erm, Kansas.

7 – Pius Heinz, 16 Million Chips

Hailing from Germany, Pius has made World Series history already, being the only player to reach the final table without folding once during the entire fvcking tournament. The German youngster may be in for a shock when he returns home, as the EU have just voted to give his prize money to Greece.

8 – Anton Makievskyi, 15 Million Chips

More international representation at the final table from this 21 year old Ukrainian – a country which have had an exceptional World Series. Anton has already really annoyed us by being far too young, with a minimum of $700k to his name, and the possibilities of far more in November, we are sure he will become far more irritating in the future. Once again, for US readers… you can find Ukraine by… oh forget it.

9 – Sam Holden, 13 Million Chips

Finally, and with a respectable 13 million only marginally the short stack, another foreigner – this time representing England. Sam is also annoyingly young at 22, has won a couple of online games before and is about to find out that he had 1000’s of adoring fans all along… who just must have forgotten how much they loved his play for the last 4 years, but hey, we can make up for it now, right, got a stake?

10 – Mark From Melted Felt, 1 Chip

In a surprise twist, this year’s November 9 will have a 10th member, in the shape of, well me. After playing so fvcking well in numerous 180 SNGs, yet failing to cash in any of them because some retard called with that pre-flop, the organizers decided to allow me to join. So far I have managed to blag the chip, and am working on the chair…


No comments:

Add to Technorati Favorites