Monday, 29 August 2011

Gaddafi Offers Rebels ‘Heads-Up For Rollz’

Funny how the international community name armed groups they do not agree with ‘terrorists’ and those they do agree with ‘rebels’, dear Melted Felt readers. This subtle distinction should not distract us from the main theme of today’s post though – that Gadaffi has offered to put all his camels in one basket, and go heads-up for rollz.

Already the international community who were not temporarily distracted by a big storm have started to comment. The UK foreign secretary shouted ‘Coffee, Sir?’, no, no, sorry we meant the head of the government office for overseas stuff – not Anoushka the Russian receptionist - said Gaddafi was ‘delusional’ adding that, ‘he obviously understands position, having held his for 42 years, however is he continues to underestimate the strength of his opponents hand the game would be over fast’.

CIA contacts are apparently worried that the wrinkled despot would change the rules half way – for example starting with PLO high-only and then announcing that the game was high-low after showing down the loser. Insider information revealed that Gaddafi was trained in the split pot game by Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe – and has already won a large number of Llamas from Hugo Chaves with his new found skills.

Rebels scoffed at the idea accusing Gaddafi of using specially marked cards and ‘extra’ ingredients in hookah pipes to keep the population of Libya pacified for more than 40 years of daily mandatory Sit N Goes. With cash games banned on the grounds that they were too hard post flop, no, sorry we meant ‘the tools of imperialist western governments’ there was a real thirst among the newly liberated population to get into some 6-max action.

Of course, the dictator believes that the rebels refusal to play heads-up for rollz is actually confirmation that he is still in charge of the country. Reasoning that if they will not play, he wins by default. After the rebels blind away, Gaddafi will have all of the chips on the table, the only problem comes when it is time to cash out – though apparently one rebel is offering a detailed photo album of Condeleeza Rice for the very generous price of just 2 camels.


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