Saturday, 3 September 2011

Jamie Gold Opens His Own Poker Site!

For a good couple of years, through good times and bad for the poker world – one search term has always appeared in the listing of Melted Felt. Yes, every day without fail somebody somewhere has searched for some variation of ‘Jamie Gold Broke’ and found this blog...

As we ponder the deep mystery of exactly why that many people cared at all, we can bring you the first Jamie Gold news since he left whatever site he lost a lot of money on last time round.

Yes, Jamie Gold is about to launch his very own poker room.

Called ‘SlightlyShitPoker’ this will be a free-play site – and will thus be able to act as a reminder to US players that their real-money options are either gone, going or fvcking dangerous. will feature Gold’s image, which might scare off children and women quite fast, it will feature poker games in which overbets, bluffs which get there on the river and 7-handed pots are the norm.

To make things even more interesting rumors* are circulating that the 2 through 7 will be removed from the virtual decks, making the game a little easier on the brain. There will also be a huge red ‘one time!’ button, which can be hit by each player once every hour to help them emulate their hero and suck out just one more time.

*started by us, now.

Matthew Muhurhurhur, Jamie Gold’s developer and muse told us this about the new site, “We see this as a great opportunity to remind poker players that – even if they are far better players than Jamie on almost every measure you can imagine – he did win the WSOP main event, and, well, you did not.” Continuing, “we would also like to let players know that we will be offering rakeback over at, enabling you to get a return of 30% on your play chips, no, wait a minute… that can’t be right”

So, will you take the plunge and join what could well be the lamest poker game in town? Will you swap play chips between yourselves while swapping anecdotes about how you used to crush the $5 / $10 games over at Stars – along with all the other former losing micro-grinders?
Do you actually think Jamie Gold is a great player who deserves credit for his win and his contributions to poker since that win in the Main Event?

Whatever the answer, please don’t let us know – just keep it to yourself, eh.


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