Friday, 6 January 2012

Quick Fire Friday Poker News Roundup

What? A Quick-fire Friday on an actual Friday… must be one of those new-fangled new year resolutions going on. Anyway I’ll start this edition of the latest poker news with a welcome announcement. There will be less Melted Felt posts this year!

(Cheers, applause, whistles and general murmuring from the masses).

In an effort to do less work I’m aiming for 6 posts a month. Enough to keep you checking that bookmark and being oh-so-slightly disappointed to see nothing has changed, yet not so much that I need to go to too much fvcking effort on your behalf – after all, we hardly know each other.

(just the occasional shout of ‘here here’ and ‘good for you buddy’ from the quickly thinning crowd by now)

I’m also going to stop addressing you as ‘dear Melted Felt readers’, though I quite like the crowd angle, hmmmm… [Slow down Mark, all these changes are going to stress your readers a little too much – Ed].

Anyway, on with the poker news roundup.

First up, this week saw one Ben Lamb named as poker player of the year 2011 by Card Player magazine. While Ben crushed the WSOP and all that good stuff, insiders revealed that his win was more symbolic than mathematical. By giving the title to a Lamb, the conceptual vision of Sheep has been entered (meme-like) into the collective unconscious of the poker world. With the slow realization that most players are about as interesting as grass-munching ruminant, and the frequently-posted opinions of their online counterparts just as thought-provoking as the bleating of spring lambs across the world – the idea is that this award might inspire someone to do something interesting in 2012.

Some hope, huh?

Second. This weeks roundup could not be published without mention of the failed grinders strike at Pokerstars. This came about after people who fold for a living were put out of business by changes which count your contribution to the pot, rather than divide ‘points’ equally among those in the hand. With folding over 24 tables not an option anymore, some direct action was needed.

So, the folders each set up 24 tables, sat out of most of them and played on only one (you have to understand that the concept of ‘not playing at all’ is beyond most of these players).

After years of being venerated in their ivory towers of providing volume to the Pokerstars tables, the problem with this action was that – well – with 300k+ peaks full of loose / bad rake-generating fish who actually fvcking deposit… Stars just does not need them to hit their volume figures these days.

*Poof* the grinders were restricted to one game for a while.

*Boom* angry posts were made in forums where only people who agree with the community line of thinking bother to post.

And finally *Sigh* Pokerstars and their millions of players continued their games without even noticing.

(only one slightly puzzled old man with a medium sized greying dog left in the crowd at this point, he liked that story a lot judging by his enthusiastic applause)

Finally for this week’s poker news roundup, a public service announcement:

The Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure starts today and many poker players sitting in darkened rooms around the world playing online will have won seats. My warning concerns that big yellow circle in the sky, which can not only burn your eyes if you look at it (so don't), it can also burn your skin just from exposure to its rays. Take care out there folks, and if you can not stand all those other human beings and *eeeuuucch* personal interaction, you can always turn off the light in your hotel room, draw the curtains and play on your laptops from there... oh, you were already doing just that...

(where’d that guy with the dog go?)


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