Friday, 20 April 2012

Quick Fire Friday – Stu Ungar Hologram To Play 2012 WSOP And More!

Time for another edition of quick-fire Friday, the poker news roundup which tends to work for any day ending in ‘y’. I forgot about these kind of posts, oops. No need for an introductory paragraph really, it is just made up poker news after all – yeah yeah, been waiting for something genuinely interesting to happen for years, don’t hold your breath now…

First up, after the successful concert reincarnation of Tupak after 16 years of pushing up the daisies we are expecting the new-fangled technology to find its use in the World Series Of Poker real soon. Hotly tipped to be first on the tables is Stu Ungar, just as soon as they work out a way for a hologram to lift up the corners of the cards. We asked the holographic Stu whether he thought that he would be a match for the internet wiz-kids of today, to which he replied, ‘Inter-what?’

Next in this this hot news bulletin, some rebranding from Full Tilt has been spotted by eagle eyed obsessive-compulsives who take it in turns to press the refresh button 24 hours a day. It would see that Full Tilt are abandoning their old colors (you can remember them, right?) and going red and black instead, with an attractive red-spade logo. The old avatars are out and in their place will be small circles into which you can upload the photo or picture of your choice, with big red action buttons and a name which brings up thoughts of professional poker playing celebrities the lobby will feature a brand new name for Rush Poker, which will now be called ‘Z…. [Ed - hang on a moment here… you *sure* you did not click on Pokerstars by mistake?]

Pokerstars, ah yes, the internet poker giants from the Isle of man have just been entered into the Guiness book of records… for the longest continuous group laughing session, which started the day Full Tilt shut down. We expect the snickering to continue behind hands… will let you know.

Finally for this week the Melted Felt Quick Fire Friday Award for services to the reputation of online poker goes to… wait for it… a little longer… yeah I know this does not work in writing as you just skim… but pretend you are on the edge of your nerves waiting to find out – oh fvckit… Bet Online Poker. Not only does this companies right arm not know what their left leg is doing, but neither limb can tell their ass from their elbow.

What happened was they mailed all their players, many already nervous after a rash of *ahem* payment issues, and told them they were leaving their host network. Next the poker site was closed, then it was all ok again and nothing to worry about… thanks very much guys, it is people like you that the already bruised poker business really needs, not.

Until I think of something else to waffle on about.


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