Friday, 13 April 2012

US Poker Roundup, UB and The PPA

As we approach the anniversary of Black Friday, there is movement on several different fronts when it comes to US online poker players getting the money stolen by their own ‘department of so-called-justice back’. Not only are the PPA back doing what they do best (raising cash for more ‘lunches’), the Feds might have just helped Cereus members UB and AP in deciding just how hard they get to laugh at their former players from their Caribbean hide-aways.

First the PPA, who famously failed to do anything whatsoever apart from burn the cash donated to them in good faith by thousands of players, and, erm, release press releases asking for more cash – have released another press release asking for more cash.

In a carefully worded piece, John Pappas omitted to mention all the money burned so far on travel and very expensive restaurants – and requested that American Poker players ‘stand up and fight’ by sending him more cash for nice dinners and other *ahem* miscellaneous expenses.

We look forward to you claiming someone else’s victory when regulation finally arrives, John.

Next some shocking news – former players at AP and UB who had written off their bankroll as ‘robbed’ may get something back after all. It has been reported that there are in-depth discussions going on with none other than the people who froze the money in the first place (for the good of innocent Christians who might have been affected by the blight of limping premium hands of course).

We are expecting an announcement soon about just how hard Russ Hamiliton’s crew will be able to laugh at former players on this once busy Poker Network. Here are the different options we are expecting from their Caribbean hide-aways soon.

- A small snikker behind the hand, which stops as soon as you look up and scowl.
- A hearty chuckle, complete with after-laugh just when you think it has reached a natural end.
- A spit-blowing booming great belly-laugh complete with red faced cheek puffing and the need to mop the brow afterwards.

We will of course let those players who paid taxes on their previous winnings and may thus be able to claim AP / UB and FTP bankrolls back from the Feds in the near future. For those of you who can not claim back anyway, please choose one of the laughs above.

Finally, the state of Utah have forced out the remaining poker sites. This was done easily by adding Poker to the list of ‘anything which makes people happy’, which is automatically banned in this state. Some people were apparently happy to see online poker banned, which has meant legislators sitting for an extended session to see how they can successfully ban that too…


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