Not really done reviews here at Melted Felt before, but this new poker site was good enough for me to break with tradition*
*no, not the tradition of no longer being funny, that one stands.
Lake Woebegone Poker is a truly unique online experience, not least because every fucking player there is well above average in their poker skill level. Yes, from the brand new fish through to the palest of Mom’s basement grinders, not a single player there ever makes a mistake – though they do seem to suffer at the hands of others who do make errors.
There are many things to attract the first time player to Lake Woebegone Poker. First us that you will never see your poker bankroll go down, ever, this could happen to bad players of course, but since every player is well above average – they all see their bankrolls increase over time. This is real money which can be cashed out at any time, but hell, while that number looks so pretty moving up the graph at 45degrees, why spoil things by cashing out?
WBG Poker players experience a redline which is 100% identical to their profits on the HM graphs and leak finding apps will naturally always come up blank. If you are not sure what that means, simply making a small first deposit will result in the entire poker jargon dictionary being beamed directly into your brain from a specially designed satellite.
Coin-flips situations in cash games are resolved by running it 12 times, and if there is still one player ahead then the special software splits the view so that both players get to win the hand. Oh, and there are no cards lower than 6 in the deck, reducing the number of unplayable starting hands by 113%.
Tournaments At Lake Woebegone Poker
These are a little tricky to handle in a site where everyone is so far above average that they feel the need to spite-rail anyone who puts a beat on them for at least 2 hours. I think you’ll enjoy the way that WBG poker handle these games...
Each time a player busts out (must have been a mis-click, right?) a new shadow-tournament begins. This grows as more players bust out, with a 3rd, then 4th game appearing as players bust the second then third one. In the end everybody wins a tournament – though the person who comes 2nd in the second from last one only really beats themselves… not a big problem at the happy, joyful poker site which is Lake Woebegone, as that person gets free entry to tomorrow’s game to make up for it.
Are You Eligible To Play?
This site has the best software and promos which make all of their player’s millionaires almost every week. So you can understand that they need to be a little selective about who they let into their doors.
The criteria are quite tough, you’ll need to be an above average driver, above average between the sheets, above average penis length for the guys and tits to waist ratio for the girls, better than average looking and smarter than average even to get past the first round of applications. Yeah, I know you’ll pass this part no problem, every-fucking-body thinks they would.
Once you are through the pre-screening, you’ll have to go through an arduous 1-on-1 interview. The site owners are looking for some kind of proof that you got to be above average at poker naturally, without studying or watching training videos. They want to see some solid fish berating, and make sure that you timed down and typed ‘ty’ in the chat box when you get put all-in while holding the nuts. They want to see some thinly disguised gloating on the 2+2 forums while calling out others who gloat with a lower post count than you and they want to see that you really effing mean it when you tell them that you are really are damn good at poker– just unlucky.
So, I know you are well above average – so delay no further, click this link to check out LakeWoebegonePoker.com now!
Lake WoebegonePoker - where every player is above average...