Friday, 17 January 2014

PokerStars Software Update Shows Players On The John

PokerStars already own poker on the desktop and laptop, dear Melted Felt readers, and with a new software update they are aiming to own mobiles and tablets too.

What many players are not aware of is a special algorithm which can detect when you are sat on the toilet. This changes your mobile avatar to a picture of the john, so that your opponents will know your focus might be on other things.

Insider sources are telling me that a patent has been filed to use the subtle changes in skin conductivity combined with bet sizing dara to tell the world whether you are sat for a number 1, 2 or have been ‘rearranging the furniture’ down there recently… though we are not too sure what the on-screen icon for the latter will be.

Party Poker are expected to fight back by making really sh1t strategic decisions and losing more of their market share.


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