Wednesday, 16 July 2014

New Jersey Online Poker Revenues Surge After Misclick

Some great news to report today, contrasting with an otherwise bleak start to the much hyped State-by-State roll-out of online poker in the US.

Yes, Dear Melted Felt readers, New Jersey saw as 34.6% rise in their online poker revenue during July. This prompted many US poker writes to jump onto their laptop to write another thinly veiled attempted to convince us that that metaphorical Norwegian Blue is, in fact, alive and kicking.

Only the euphoria was short lived.

Yes, it turned out to be a misclick.

You see, Dave Morrison, 28, from Millville, NJ was enjoying a game of online poker the other night, safe in the knowledge that this was regulated and taxed, that the IRS would have full access to his win / loss record and the NSA to his check-raise percentage… when an accident occurred.

He had called a bet in the big blind with some suited cards, hoping to slow play a flush on a paired board. All was going great in the hand, with only two more diamonds sure to give him the pot against an opponent who was bound to be bluffing. He just clicked over to his browser for a second, to check on some *ahem* educational videos and *boom* the poker table appeared on top again. Just at that second his mouse was over the ‘call’ button and he found himself all-in.

Unfortunately Dave did not get his diamonds, and the pot went to his opponent, who had a gutshot straight draw and paired his six on the river.

By pushing the rake for that pot up to $2.25c, all hell broke loose among hordes of out of work US poker journalists.

This was it!

The turning point was here!

The full glory of US online poker was about to return!

Revenues had increased, month-on-effing-month!

Until Dave owned up to his error.

Now it is back to the same old blame game mixed with hopeless optimism. Just to sell a crummy article to a website nowadays takes some extreme new scapegoat… I can see the headlines for the Fall already.

“Slow take-up of US Online Poker Blamed on Gay Marriage”

“Proof: Climate Change Responsible for Delaware Card Room Declines”

“Sheldon Ashton Laughs So Hard His Colostomy Bag Bursts”

Oh well, at least we have the same old white males in their 20s and 30s making up the November 9 to give us something to talk about… no… wait.

Never mind, back to breaking even in sit n goes but for the rakeback.


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