Wednesday, 24 September 2014

PokerStars Commission Survey Company to Survey the Lack of Responses to their Survey about Surveys

Relief is at hand, dear Melted Felt readers, from the barrage of surveys sent by the world most arrogant poker site – PokerStars.

Yes, the company who used to be good at customer service before they owned online poker has been having some trouble with their surveys… and is determined to get to the bottom of it.

After sending out nearly 700 surveys per player over the last few years, they were suffering from a shocking lack of engagement in the people responding to them. I mean, did these players not realize just how fucking important PokerStars were or something?

The answer came from the genius minds of the marketing department, you know, the same ones who still think that attracting eastern euros to grind the 1c / 2c games for a living makes for a really great poker economy…

It was to send out a survey.

Unfortunately, the idea fell flat.

It seemed at players just did not want to reply to a survey requesting feedback on how they felt about all those surveys. Even the promise of entry into a $2 all-in each hand tournament could not persuade people to give a flying one.

It went to management.

Now, even though the upper tiers are still prone to spontaneous fits of giggles when they remember buying Full Tilt, decisions do get made in the upper tiers.

It took time, though they got there in the end.

The only answer was to do a survey. You’ll be getting it any day now.

A new PokerStars survey, aimed at really getting to grips with the deep psychological reasons why the PokerStars survey about the effectiveness of PokerStars Surveys was a flop.

Knowing what a tight ship they run, I’m sure there is a survey in plan to find out all about the quality of this latest mailing.

Coming soon at Melted Felt:

- An interview with several pundits who were singing from the rooftops about how US poker was ‘Back in the Game!!!’ only 6- months ago about puppy dogs,
football and just about any subject other than poker (which is rigged anyway, right? RIGHT?)

- A really long gap, followed by a post harking back to bygone days when Melted Felt had readers.

- A ‘where are they now?’ feature which looks at all the ‘kids’ who dropped out of college to go ‘pro’ in 2009, finding them in trailer parks, flipping burgers and STILL believing that they were good, just unlucky.

- A link to High Tech Gambling (oops, that's already here)

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